I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Randomize
