So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
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