He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
