Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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