So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
My vagina just clenched in fear
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
