She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
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