for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
