It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
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