i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
How drunk are you?
Completed.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
