let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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