If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
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