Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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