im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
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