Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Dignity is for republicans.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Randomize
