What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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