It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
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