I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Randomize
