why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
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