I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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