Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Randomize
