I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize
