she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
