i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
