It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
