okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
