how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Randomize
