miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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