ugly people sure do ruin things
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
