We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Randomize
