2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
