At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Randomize
