I'm jealous of your bromance
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
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