You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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