so explain again why im purple
no
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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