Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
