Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
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