Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
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