Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Randomize
