I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Edward fifth and chaser hands
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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