please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
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