why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
