Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
your room smells of hookers.
And success
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
