just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
How drunk are you?
Completed.
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