he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Randomize
