meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Randomize
