I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
