I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
