Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
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