I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
