Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
